


Things I'll Never Say

by vogue91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brothers, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Parenthood, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 17:40:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13745994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Each member of the Weasley's family has taken Fred's death differently.





	Things I'll Never Say

_ All Around Me Are Familiar Faces _ _(Arthur Weasley)_

I still hope.

I hope, one day, to open the door, coming back tired from work, and see two twin faces smiling and waving.

At times I rub my eyes when I see only George, certain of having gone crazy.

But I’m not crazy, I’m not blind, and the twin is just one now.

I lost a son, but this fleeting hope keeps being the shadow of my steps, and seems almost to keep him still alive, a little bit each day.

I’ll never see again George mirroring in his brother’s face.

But believing it, is necessary to go on.

 

_ There’s Nothing Left to Lose _ _(Molly Weasley)_

Family is all I have. And I’ve always loved them. I love crowded meals, I love the knowing smiles around me, I even love the frequent and unjustified rebukes.

I’ve always liked to this that we were one mind, one person.

A person that today’s maimed, my child. Maimed of a basilar part of him, as we all are.

We’re still the family I had so desired to keep united, but it won’t be the same anymore. Those who says revenge is useless, I found out, are right. It doesn’t heal the pain, it just points out that there’s nothing left to do.

 

_ No More Tears in Heaven _ _(Ginny Weasley)_

I never poured one tear. And maybe this was my mistake.

It’s not easy understanding what it feels like. Something breaks inside, it feels like the world is spinning wrong... all banalities.

The truth is I still don’t know what it feels like to see a brother die. Knowing that he’ll never mock you anymore, that you’ll never fight with him again, that you’ll never threat not to speak to him anymore.

I’ll miss you, Fred. I’ll miss all I knew about you and all I’ll never find out.

But still not a tear, brother.

 

_ Trade All My Tomorrows for Just One Yesterday _ _(Percy Weasley)_

I’ve worn a mask for nineteen long years.

Bitter scolding, snorts, easy ironies...

I never had the courage to say that I terribly envied you and George. You way of being, so bloody carefree, made me believe I was the wrong one, the one who was never going to know those smiles that belonged only to the two of you.

Now you don’t have your life anymore, and I’d give every single one of my smiles to give it back to you right this second.

To live knowing that my annoying little brother is behind me, watching and laughing at everything I do. To envy you, one more time.

 

_ The Truth Lies in Between _ _(Ron Weasley)_

I feel uncomfortable.

Worse than uncomfortable. I suffer the constant humiliation of not even understanding my reactions.

Or the lack of it.

When Fred... when it happened, my mind like froze. From that exact moment I try to understand what I should do, but I can’t even think of the right words to say, of the right things to do, gestures to actually show what I think I feel.

And instead I’m left hanging, mortified and humiliated, because probably everybody thinks I didn’t even blink for the death of my brother.

But still, I suffer.

 

_ Forsake This Solid Ground _ _(Bill Weasley)_

Annoying little brat.

I always said that, but now I think about it with a smile on my face, far from the irritated glares I used to throw at you.

I think back to those rare moments of seriousness you allowed yourself, I remember how, with your eyes lightened, you told me you wanted to have what I had, that you wanted to be free to wander, to go everywhere, following any road you deemed worth.

Now you are free, little brother. Not the way you wanted to, but this is the freedom that’s been granted to you.

I only wish I could see your eyes now.

 

_ Colours of the Wind _ _(Charlie Weasley)_

Our home always seemed… warm, of course, but it still misses some cheerful tone, something to give it some colour.

When we were kids, I was certain that you and George brought those colours. I liked to think that each one of us was important, and that your role was that of giving us serenity, without realizing it couldn’t be lasting.

Just like you couldn’t. But I wouldn’t have expected that, without you, the house would turn grey, sharps and hateful, reminding to us constantly of your absence. I’d like those colours back, Fred.

I’d like to have you back.

 

_ You’re in my Blood like Holy Wine _ _(George Weasley)_

I still hate you, do you know that?

I hate I can’t sleep peacefully at night, I hate that I have to see your bloody face every morning in the mirror.

I hate what you did to me, Fred.

I hate being haunted by the smile frozen on your face, seeing it every minute of every day, almost going crazy when the memory weighs too much for me to bear.

It’s been years since that moment, and by now I’m resigned. I’ll never get rid of you, no matter how hard I try.

You’re a ghost on me, inside of me.

Just swear that you’ll never go away.


End file.
